Sabbatical

Like a desert traveller, lost in starry nights,
And such luck, his old compass finally gives up on him.

Much fate, I am no different,
Stuck with dead dreams, out of inspiration, heading nowhere,
I don't see reasons to lift the scribbling pencil once more.

Oh, is she going to read this? How about the others? Did she already?
Or, is she, like the old compass, already long gone?

Nevertheless Heartbroken, I bid farewell.


I tried,
Just that some nights, it is terribly hard to endure.
Why? Don't bother.
I try again.


LMX
Tuesday
27/11/2018
Deep slumber chamber

Admonished

Do you still remember?
The scorching summer, when all scattered in the vaporising wind
With hoarseness in our voice
We both reached a path, that neither of us choose to be

Strangers we are in every way,
Still, I believe in every little words of yours
As I'm too afraid to confront my own will
Will that is often devoured by loneliness

Because
Somehow, you remind me of
The past that don't really go past
That somehow, some kind of true love
Don't belong to me

And
Somehow you remind me of
Even if I have the world
That somehow, some happiness that I yearn
Truly will never belong to me


LMX
Monday
08/10/18

A Familiar Place

Sometimes,
I felt I'm drifting inside a bottled boat
Aimlessly, with waves of time
Then, I found myself
In a familiar place
I try to paddle, and paddle
Away into the emptiness that lies ahead
As I lie and look at the vast sky
I recall the old times
And a comforting voice lingers around the mist
Turning my head around
Only to find I'm all by myself
Again, back to a familiar place

What’s left is just me
Pacing in rounds


LMX
Wednesday
03/10/18

Wish

How I wish
I could be with you

To count with you
Stars in the heavens

To collect with you
Drops of drizzle in the spring

Recounting stories of those olden days
Feelings of affection in your eyes

How I wish



5/8/2018
Bintulu

Tulip

"I have never taken photo for anyone quite this way.

When one supposes to have their eyes glued to camera screen, I manage to do it clumsily. I can't take my eyes off of her.

She poses readily yet I'm in mess. The beautiful scenery, surrounding flowers and annoyingly endless crowd of tourists, they just went away.

Leaving only her smile, and vault between my eyes and hers, and unexplained calamity."


If only God grants wishes,
I hope time will stop,
And we forever stay in that moment.


Singapore
8th May 2018
Gardens by the Bay

Post Mortem

She laughed so hard,
On silly jokes,
Sometimes tears would come to her eyes.

She's easily moved emotionally,
On cute happy things,
That I could feel her tears last long till the end of the day.

I never understood,
How someone spent her time,
Brighten other people's day,
Could hate herself so much,
But she did quite passionately.

The only person I ever heard say a single bad thing about her, was her,
So I tried to protect her,
To get her see what I saw,
That she was lovely, she was amazing,
And utterly intimidating.

And I don't wish for more. Really.


You have to do that for the people you love right? Let them fight their own battles, even if being helpless breaks your heart into two.


KLIA
1011pm,
Valentines' Day 2018

Accident

Beep
My phone rings a text message
I wish it is from you
I glance and peep
And it isn't

Beep
My phone rings again
It has to be from you
I glance and peep
Still, it isn't

*Crash*

Beep
My phone rings
Beep
Beep

I swear I tried to lift my fingers, but I couldn't. Is it now I'm going to die? The text messages, I know it is from her. Forget the texts. I have to call her. Now or never. But shit, I'm dying.



4/2/2017
1230am
Lalaland, Bintulu

I'm a sailor, you're my ship

I'm a sailor,
Lost in world of sea in search for seven wonders,
With dreams as the sole fortitude.

You're my ship,
My fortress, my house, my soul,
Whenever I need you, wherever you lead me to,
I always know, it is the right path.


2315
Bintulu
31/1/18

Goodnight

Have I told you,
The morning of today,
I have missed you the day before,
And though we're near,
My heart aches of wanting more.

Then you leave for hours,
And my heart longs for you,
I swear the clock is making fun of me,
As every tick of seconds, it reminds me of you,
Yet till now, good night is all I can say.

As day goes by, I realize,
I don't fear of waiting,
For my love to come true,
What I fear the most,
The day you cease to exist

Ritz-Carlton 0511
29/01/2018
2227

Audrey Hepburn

Pardon me, Miss Audrey
To start this with sloppy words
I find it unyielding, to write about you
As we have known, as little as hundred minutes
Fret not, I have a better way
To quote your poem is all I can do
And
Indebtedness to you is all I have

"
For attractive lips, speak words of kindness..
For lovely eyes, seek out the good in people.
For a slim figure, share your food with the hungry.
For beautiful hair, let a child run his/her fingers through it once a day.
For poise, walk with the knowledge that you never walk alone.
"

Backstrip:
"I couldn't make it to be there next week"
Yes, you said it loud and clear
I pretend I couldn't care less
Yet, I put out my long face
As I crawl, to my imaginary air castle

Slowly, I scrap away the delusive thought
Of sitting next to you, inside the plane



24/1/18
2321
Bintulu

Clock of Emotions

If time could tell emotions,
It would be a queue,
To a rollercoaster train.

I had my ride today, and here is how I fare:

Six to seven
It was a typical Monday
Seven to eight
Lights blacked out, I thought of her
Eight to nine
I made her mad, I fell to despair
Nine to half past ten
We met each other
I wished time would pause
As jubilation in rhapsody
Then she bid farewell
And I was in dismay

Eleven to midnight
The heart wanders
Into sleepless night
All over again


2334
Bintulu

Snooze and snore

"Night night, sweet dreams"
With a text to her
I put my jammie on
I pull my blanket up

"Dream of me, will you"
I whisper to the air
Snooze and snore
There she is, in my dream


0930
Bintulu